Smart Doll: Divergence Green by Danny Choo

May 5, 2025

Cordelia, but not tragic.

This, dear reader, is the third magical Smart Doll I have purchased with plain old human money. As you can see, she is green. I have mentioned previously how Smart Doll has done dolls in various fantasy colors, including a light blue, grey, and a straight up black called "black navy". I certainly came along at the right time as a collector when they are producing these green dolls, because it fits right in with another obsession I have had for many years and that is of course, the concept of extraterrestrial life - AKA little green aliens. This obsession started not because I've been abducted or because of any traumatic encounter in my past with alien interlopers (God forbid!), but because I have spent a good deal of my life in the worthwhile, fortifying pursuit of playing the Sims games, improving my reading and hand eye coordination skills.

"Are Sims like Smart Dolls?"

Yes reader, I've whiled away many an hour playing Sims 1,2 and 4 (I was having and raising my real live babies during Sims 3). In all those joyous and productive hours, I've had many a male sim abducted by an alien tractor beam while innocently using the telescope at night and then dumped on the lawn by a flying saucer in the morning, furious and exhausted, and newly pregnant with an adorable 1/2 alien baby that grows up to look like my Cordelia here. Green, gorgeous, and bristling with scary alien powers. Actually, sometimes the green alien children look atrocious in the Sims, but Smart Dolls are always little cuties.

Cuties? Yeah, you could say that.

Such a joy it was to me and such a rarity (at first) in the game of Sim to have a little green baby that it has imprinted itself on my psyche somehow and I love the aesthetic of alien stuff. Let's face it alien decor and memorabilia is always kitschy. I just so happen to like a little kitsch to brighten my day. An alien oven mitt, an alien on my t-shirt or my coffee cup, key chain, or sneakers, that's just my speed. They're cute and whimsical and I guess to me, kind of lucky because it is just a matter of luck when you get an alien baby in the Sims, you can spend your whole Sim life out there and never be chosen for Alien fatherhood, kind of like in real life. So that's my jam with the little green Smart Dolls. I love the green, bring it on. But many others have found a different kind of joy in the green that I find worth mentioning here.

Well, what is it?

Many of the pictures that you'll see on social media of the green Smart Dolls show them decked out in adorable little witch gear. Tiny little black Victorian style dresses with black and green striped stockings and pointy shoes, tall pointy black witchy hats with wide brims, and people find or make little brooms for their green girls to complete the fantasy. The results are adorable, and I cackle over the wicked little pictures on social media regularly as I stir my cauldron in the evenings. The Wicked Witch of the West is still a cultural trope thankfully and people still expect green witches. I recently read that "What's up Doc?" has fallen out of the zeitgeist and young people no longer know what it is anymore. There was a wonderful green witch in the Bugs Bunny cartoons, oh I loved her when I was a kid! When she flew away on her broom, she left behind little black hairpins!

Get in your jammies and I'll tell you all about the Bugs Bunny witch before bed.

Whether people are buying the greenies for sorcery, space exploration, or some other nefarious purpose, they appear to be very popular with collectors. They certainly are with me. Danny Choo just released the first pear bodied green doll, and I almost fell out of my chair with love when I saw her - Marvel pear in green? She's on my list behind 2 other must haves. The problem is saving up the money to buy them. And buying them does not seem to fulfill the need for having them in any way, strangely. It's the most curious thing.

Green hair. Is it too much? Or is it exactly what you were thinking?

I have bought Delia many, many wigs. I was obsessed with getting her a green one, and I was a bit underwhelmed with it honestly. She still looks gorgeous in it as you can see, she always looks gorgeous. This is a popular doll and to the many who have her you must have noticed by now as I have, she's definitely sitting at the pretty girls table in the cafeteria. Her eyes are so open and expressive, her lips so full, her face shaped like a heart. I keep trying to make her like a quirky little alien, but she keeps being beautiful and resisting the quirkiness. I do plan to get either North or Singularity to be her sister in green who embraces their Alienness someday. See? I'm a bottomless well of Smart Doll ideas now!

"I do declare"

I saw a post online where someone had replaced their greenie's eyes with pure black ones, no iris or white at all just the coldness of space blackness. It looked so cool! She really looked like an alien, with the big black eyes that a traditional E.T. would have. So, I ordered some solid black eyes right away and I was so excited to change Cordelia's original eyes out and finalize her true form as a being from out of this world - now everyone would see what I myself imagined when they looked at her. But I couldn't bring myself to do it. It was strange, I felt like the eyes in her head were singing in little poems to me at night while I slept, saying "I do have a soul, and here it resides. If you take me away, I'll be gone forever." I was afraid if I swapped the eyes, I wouldn't feel the same personality coming from her anymore: the same innocence, the same wonder, the same vulnerability that Delia has for me. Just in case, I left her with the eyes that she came to me with, and a vague feeling that if she did have a soul, it must be Irish, and I should have named her Sinead.

A ponytail for exercising.

So, I guess Cordelia will be my green alien trying to hide in plain sight. I mean, there's a huge flaw in her plan (she's bright green) but I'm not going to burst her bubble. I'll never tell her that she's not fooling anyone. She does have pretty privilege, so that can only help her. I remember watching a supposedly true story on the Travel channel years ago about 2 kids that walked out of the woods in England, or some European country back in the ancient times, and they were bright green. I think the story was their parents were dead, and they had been living on their own for years and the only food they knew to be safe was green beans or some green vegetable so that was all they had been eating for years, and it turned them green. So maybe she can tell people she's got that. I don't know, we'll look on WebMD and figure something out.

Delia, ready to go to the county fair and ride the gravitron.

The truth is, Cordelia is the name I chose and everything feels copacetic, but originally, I did feel that I kind of forced it on her. Whenever I receive a new doll in the mail, I try to open my mind to the universe and just listen for a name, any name, even if I wouldn't pick it, then I sort of feel that it's about the doll in some way. I love King Lear and have wanted to use his one and only good daughter's name for a while now, and by a while I mean years. Cordelia just never fits anyone. In the past it wasn't fitting cats and dogs, at the current time it wasn't fitting Smart Dolls. When Delia arrived at my house I did get a name, and rather strongly - Deirdre. But that is a name I already have a big association with from one of my favorite books back when I was a teenager, "The Mayfair Witches" by Anne Rice. Deirdre is one in the long ancestral line of witches in the book, and she has a terribly sad story (just like Shakespeare's Cordelia). I didn't want to give my new Smart Doll a name I had such a strong association with as Deirdre. I mean, I must have read that book about 1,000 times in high school. I feel like I still know it by heart. Which I clearly can't say about Lear, and Delia sounds similar to Deirdre. I feel that my little green girl is ok with the change. You know, as I'm writing this it's dawning on me that the name she naturally inspired - "Deirdre" is the name of a witch to me! Maybe my Delia isn't an alien at all but in her little green heart she's a Bugs Bunny style witch - a Witch Hazel! Maybe I've had her wrong all this time!

"Who am I?"

Actually, we don't need to have an existential crisis here Deals. I know who you are. It's not hard. You're a pretty girl. That's all you have to do and be, and you're great at it. Maybe next Halloween we'll dress you up like an alien. Or maybe a little Bugs Bunny witch. Abracadabra, presto change-o.