"Surrealist Gala" Vanessa Perrin by Integrity Toys and Sinuhe Guzman

December 26, 2024

Like a decadent, art deco NYC elevator...

When the Perrin sisters arrived for the Surrealist Gala at my house, it was like I was at a very exclusive hotel for the event and down from above came a golden art deco elevator (or a splendid Mayan art elevator or an elevator influenced by both) and when the doors opened there they were: frozen and fabulous. Taped to the back wall and furious, long blonde hair tied to the box and glorious, the Perrin sisters looked past me with that way that hot people have of seeing right through you, and the way IT dolls have of reliably having resting bitch face. Needless to say, as every other reviewer has noted, the most impressive packaging we've seen from IT in a long time.

She has already obtained goddess stature.

These dolls have been out for a week and people have already fallen head over heels for Miss Vanessa, and I am including myself in that group. I will admit I prefer her sister by the slightest of margins, but that is only because I must root for the underdog, and I always think the bad girl/boy is cool. But to consider Vanessa (and after all this is her article), how could she be more charming? The long blonde hair, the blue eyes, the very heavy but beautiful makeup, the very stunning but scandalous outfit, the very excessive but beautiful jewelry? Her skirt has tulle wings! She goes up to every boundary and pushes through them all only to emerge triumphant, saying "I did it, and it worked! I drove the neckline down further than you said I could, and it worked! I cut the skirt shorter than you said I should and it's gorgeous! I put on every piece of jewelry I could think of, and they all sang together! I played every note, and together they make a glorious symphony for me!" And of course, it's not Vanessa triumphantly declaring victory over fashion boundaries but the brilliant designer Sinuhe Guzman here that makes it all work together. Both dolls have been given to generously by their creator but especially Vanessa, who has beautiful hummingbird earrings, with the hummingbirds each carrying a drop of ruby red nectar (or blood, some have speculated that the sisters are vampires) that connect to a rather heavy (but Vanessa actually doesn't mind it) metal headband covered in a few bejeweled flowers and humming-birds.

Not to mention...

That's not to mention the barbed wire necklace she has, with two poor hummingbirds trapped in the barbed wire, one dramatically dripping a tear of blood nectar into Vanessa's cleavage! The cleavage that's made by the way, by the exquisite garment she is wearing on her upper torso, a bodice piece with two breast plates that are sewn to be rather far apart, with a string around the neck and tied together at the waist with more strings.

A lot going on...

As you can see above. Also, this is the only time I really noticed the hummingbirds embroidered on the back of the skirt and the little jewels. It's really lovely. Tulle wings at the sides.

The embroidery

On the front of the skirt is some possibly antler-ish embroidery that is very beautiful and bejeweled as well. Also, the tulle wings on the sides. It's very very short. She's got two each of two rings. She's got two hummingbird rings and two red flower rings. I'll admit that I got greedy and tried to put all four on her hand at once and one of each kind popped off and fell into the forbidden valley. This is what I call the bag I keep on the ground between my side table and my chair. It's got like Tylenol and Advil in it, hand lotion, chap stick, very old lady chic. I know they are in there and eventually I will send in a rescue mission to extract them. I have not as of yet. Who are you to judge me? Anyway, here's a pretty picture of the rings.

Where does she shop?

My use of clear rubber bands may seem ubiquitous to you reader, but I swear it comes from solid thinking after rough and tragic experiences. I've helped dolls through loss, and it's not pretty. Let's face it. Most dolls are brats. They want their stuff, and they want it now. So, if you lose it, they are not happy. If you're a doll person you can imagine the way Vanessa has been giving me the eye since those rings popped off. She's got a big chip on her shoulder now. Well, a bigger chip. You know the old saying, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Or actually that one's so old you might not know it, but it bears repeating when it comes to tiny invisible rubber bands my friend.

I tried some stuff...

At the very first, there was no guidance on how to "do" Vanessa's opera cape, so I tried a couple of ways, like wrapping the strings on the cape around her elbows, but I didn't tie any knots. Then soon enough, Sinuhe Guzman released a short video on Instagram showing us the way it is accomplished, and I added her cape. My heart surged. I didn't know I could love her more.

It was so right...

Her cape glitters with red jewels, and glows with misty layers of effervescent material, the pattern telling some witchy mushroomy fairy story in mirror form. She becomes an opera singer when she puts the cape on. She goes from looking gorgeous but trampy to having instant gravitas.

The embroidery on the cape

All dressed in red and looking so sexy she definitely has a chance to be Satan's secretary as Sophia called Blanche when she wore all red to that funeral on Golden Girls. But these days she'd probably be more like Satan's publicist, or his trophy girlfriend who is also an influencer. This doll is actually wearing a thong, which I did photograph, but I can't bring myself to show the pics because I'm not sure how it makes me feel to show them reader. I'm owning my discomfort. I'm not analyzing it; I'm just holding space for it. I've heard you can do that. The next step, I haven't researched. But no matter Vanessa already breaks enough boundaries in this iteration without showing her thong and it's an absolute slay.

The Queen passes...

She very much gives that famous celebrity vibe, and when she's on display it's like there's a permanent sighting happening. So far it's been worth it having the windows blacked out and the entrances blocked to keep the papparrazzi out and I don't really mind all the helicopters and black SUVs circling the place trying to get a picture of Miss Thing here, because she's been so great to have around. She's gorgeous to look at and the girl is a hoot, between her and her sister I've been cackling the past two weeks. My kids think I'm crazy, but other than that it's been great. IT really blew my socks off with this one, the quality is bar none. And as far as Mr. Guzman is concerned, I'm eager to see more from him! I've followed him on Instagram and found his designs for sale online in other places so go find other work by this man if you collect and like me you love these Perrin sisters!

"Your year is going to be a good one."

I hope everyone who celebrates had a Merry Christmas yesterday and is having a happy Kwanzaa and first day of Hannukah today. Have a happy New Year reader! Here's hoping for more love and light and a better new year for us all!